(Can’t read the handwriting? Click continue reading for the typed version.)
Oh. My. God. How are you doing? I’m sure by now you’ve at least somewhat pieced together what a mess Chris was at the Thunderbelly show. I actually still can’t believe it happened, and I was there! Here’s exactly what went down:
First of all, I had NO IDEA why Chris’s band was called Thunderbelly. Did you know they start every show by having Kevin, shirtless, march out to center stage, pounding on his stomach while everybody chants, “Thunderbelly! Thunderbelly!” It was so TERRIFYING! Then he plays the whole set shirtless, and his stomach just ripples as he drums. I was humiliated to be seen with him afterwards. I had no idea what I was getting into. No idea. Then, Chris steps up to the mic and says, “This song is for my girlfriend.” After that… you don’t want to know all the awful things he called you.
Did you at least know he wrote a song about you? I mean, granted, it’s really catchy, but it is so creepy! I mean, the whole song, he’s talking about staring at you. Like, that’s the whole song, him staring at you. It made me want to puke.
But it gets worse. I don’t even think people would remember the lyrics, except that he played the song FOUR times in a row. I’ve never seen Chris look so crazy. Couldn’t he just write a normal love song? Maybe I just don’t understand punk.
Oh, and don’t worry. I’m over the Kevin thing. I think he might have turned me off to guys altogether. Well, either him or Chris. They’re both fresh baked doofmuffins.
I hope you’re OK. If I hear anyone singing that song one more time, I’ll snap their necks. Did you notice Chris didn’t even have the nerve to come to school today?
If you need ANYTHING, just ask. I’m sure it’ll all blow over soon.
Coming up, hear the song that ruins Clara’s life.