Eli > Clara #8

(Can’t read the handwriting? Click continue reading for the typed version.)

Clara,

OK, that does it! We need to get you un-grounded ASAP! It’s your freaking birthday this weekend, your mom can’t possibly be that wretched! And not to be selfish, but I had the worst weekend without you! I didn’t even go to the show on Friday because I was still recovering from the most mortifying night of my life.

And, I had to go to the football game Friday night, which is usually fun but it was an away game, and I was majorly PMSing, so everything Mona said was driving me nuts. I kept thinking over and over, just get through the game, you can do this. I think I was busier cheering myself up than cheering on the team. The game was normal enough, but we lost, and it went a little longer than usual, then we had this long ride back to deal with. I wish Mrs. Shepard didn’t insist on all the cheerleaders riding the bus to every away game together. Don’t get mad at this next part, because I’m over it already, but at one point, Mona and I started just really tearing into each other, and the next thing I know, everyone on the bus is calling me a virgin and laughing at me. Honestly, it was the most horrible night of my life, and so I just put on my iPod and started blasting No Doubt because there was no escape, and after a while, Mona felt bad and came and apologized. It was still the longest bus ride of my life. Then, she invites me to a party, which wasn’t really an invitation since she was my ride home, and I didn’t really have a choice. But she said it was at Jermaine Fuller’s house. I don’t know if you know him, but he’s a junior and is one of Ian’s best friends, so it was a pretty sure thing that Ian would be at the party. I was still embarrassed and feeling bloated and crampy, but I just couldn’t say no to a chance to interact with Ian Hartman. Sweeeeeat!

The next thing I know, we’re back at school, and Mona offers to drive a bunch more people to this party, so I’m pretty much obligated at this point anyway, since she’s my only ride home. We’re in the car, and Mona’s blasting DMX, and everyone’s joking, so my mood improved a little. Then we get to the party, and yeah, Ian’s there, sitting on the couch with Sasha cakey-makeup-nastfest Raymond, and they’re all over each other. So, I was moping on this couch when this loser Jeremy Chester kept trying to hit on me by insulting how young I am. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?” UGH! Finally, I just left him there and went to find Mona, and of course, she was fighting with Will and told me to get lost. I wound up walking home. Mona’s friends SUCK! Next time I think it’s a good idea to go to one of their lame parties, remind me of that. Just say Sasha Raymond. I’ll remember.

Hey! Is there a new song on the radio that has your name in it? I swear to God, all day, people keep singing your name. It’s bizarre. But kind of cool? No one ever writes songs about girls named Elizabeth.

What should we do for your birthday? Write me back!!!

<3

Eli

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4 responses to “Eli > Clara #8

  1. “Sasha cakey-makeup-nastfest Raymond”.

    Man, I loves me some Eli. Also, I find it a little sad that “virgin” is an insult, but I suppose it always has been.

    • Eli’s sister sometimes makes high school a little too hard for her, but I think it’s mostly because she wants Eli to hurry up and experience everything she has already. Siblings, right?!

  2. Just curious since we found out that Eli is short for Elizabeth… is it pronounced like the boy’s name Eli or like Elly?

    • It’s Eli, like the boy’s name.

      When Eli was a little girl, she would always want to be Mona’s equal, even though she is three years younger. So when Mona started learning her letters, Eli tried to learn, too, but, at 2, she could never quite remember how to make the letter “z,” so she always wrote her name out as just “Eli” before giving up. Their parents thought it was darling, and the nickname stuck.

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